The list of People currently tracked by the Empire

  • Willie Nelson
  • Colin Powell
  • Queen Latifah
  • Connie Chung
  • Alex Smith
  • 49ers
  • Khloe Kardashian
  • Khloe Kardashian's Husband
  • Violet the Butterfly
  • Seraphina the ShapeShifter
  • Samuel the Great
  • BuBeTBoBaBoWhoBIBiBo
  • Brian 'the Beard' Wilson
  • Keesha
  • Garth Brooks
  • Hal Ketchum
  • Blue Dixie
  • David Gans
  • Self Centered
  • Tom Petty
  • Kevin Costner
  • Bruce Springsteen
  • Jerry Garcia
  • Phil Lesh
  • The Grateful Dead
  • Brad Pitt
  • Angelina Jolie
  • Jennifer Aniston
  • Ben Affleck
  • Jay and Silent Bob
  • Russell Crowe
  • Alanis Morissette
  • Sheryl Crow
  • Blind Melon
  • Sarah McLachlan
  • Paul Teutul, Jr.
  • Robert Hunter, the Lyricist for the Grateful Dead

Introducing the WEwiHaPaHE Empire, featuring:


WEwiHaPaHE (Web Engineer with Hair Past Her Elbows) is a RockStar, President, Astronaut, and Spaceship Captain who saves the human race in the first movie, Evacuation Earth. Her spaceship is a used Army ship with a lead based hull. It's an Entertainment ship and has the largest holodeck known to mankind. And EVERYBODY knows: Tuesdays 2-4pm its California hour in the holodeck...

Presto Manifesto Presto Manifesto

Presto Manifesto is WEwiHaPaHE's project manager. She was mentioned during the first 3 movies, but had never been seen and people were starting to believe she was a figment of WEwiHaPaHE's imagination. She makes her first appearance in the 4th movie, but she's awfully quiet - we're still awaiting her first words.

and the rest of the gang:

new characters added regularly...

The Spaceship API The Spaceship API

The Spaceship API exposes the Empire's database. The entire Empire is served up from a single code base and a single database - this makes the Empire scalable and super easy to maintain. View the API documentation at

The Snazifier The Snazifier

The Snazifier is where you go to get One of These Things™. The Snazifier is the back end, One of These Things is the front end. Put your thinking cap on and Snazify your own One of These Things.

One of These Things One of These Things

Do you have One of These Things? The kids asked for it, so we built it. Go to the The Snazifier and get your very own One of These Things!

Expect the Best. Plan for the Worst.

Unknown FEMA Employee